I had an intriguing weekend, which did not include much writing.
I did have a thought about words, about the things we say. There are some words that don't mean much, especially between people who share a close relationship. But there are some things, even innocuous words, that can linger long after they're said.
I live with anxiety, so maybe its just me, but I can hear a sentence on a loop for days. What did it mean? Why was it said? Did I deserve to have that said to me, even if it was hurtful?
Dealing with something like that combined with an anxiety disorder can be exhausting. However, I also think that my anxiety does not absolve the person of wrongdoing when something is said that bothers me. You have to take accountability for what was said.
I'm not usually a very tenderhearted person. Sure, movies and books make me cry, I get emotional over songs. But it actually isn't easy to emotionally wound me in real life. I have pretty thick skin (Likely the result of being raised surrounded by boys). So, when something actually brings me to tears, its pretty serious.
I live my life in words, always have. Words can convey so many things. One of the most serious is truth. Words can convey the absolute truth in someone's heart. Knowing that, when someone says something that cuts to the quick, it cannot be unheard. Its out there, in the ether, and cannot be taken back.
Mind what you say, especially to someone you love. Even if you didn't mean it, the words may mean something to someone else. Words cannot be unheard or unsaid.
Just my observations today.
-C.A.