I've been offline, on just about everything since the end of March.
It wasn't an intentional absence, but I got hit by several things all at once. My health took a turn when it was discovered (via a randomly sore ankle) that I have a pretty significant vein disease. This disease comes with the risk of blood clots, which I have since developed. On top of everything else my body has been through of late, it was a sort of breaking point for me.
I've barely written since the beginning of April. I've sent no queries, written no synopses or anything of the sort. I have not Tweeted, blogged, or done anything.
My body and mind set to survival mode, I just got dragged along for the ride.
I am feeling a little better now. I've lost about 40lbs in the last 10 months with more weight loss forthcoming. This is helpful for my poor veins, and the working out does wonders for my ability to sleep.
How has this effected my writing? Well, I'm just...not. Not anything original anyway. I went back to fan fiction because its easy, its light, and there is instant gratification. I'm still loitering in the fan fic arena, trying to dip my toes back into the water before I start something new. Or try to get my first two novels published.
I don't really know where my writing career is now. I know I don't feel particularly guilty about taking the time to work on my physical and mental health. This latest in a long series of health issues really took its toll on my mind.
Dealing with any kind of health issue is hard, but having so many piled on top just gets exhausting on a whole new level. The vein disease is being treated, but there are so many things that can go wrong. Several of those things have gone wrong.
I wish I could just write. Or read. I wish I could stop worrying for five damn minutes and just be.
Lucky for me, family vacation is coming up. I need it. We're attending a wedding next week. I managed to get the time off because I asked so early in the year. I'm looking forward to it, bad health and all.
Hopefully after the start of school, I can start getting back to my true love, my real passion. I might not feel guilty about not writing but man, I miss it.
For tonight, I'm going to do a little workout, make some dinner, and watch TV. Taking time to recharge can feel like a waste, but its so, so necessary.
I hope all is well with everyone else.
-C.A.