I open at the close...
To borrow one of my favorite lines from my favorite book series: I open at the close.
I've always loved that line, the idea that endings are just beginnings, really. I suppose this is especially noticeable to me this week, since I've reached a milestone I've never hit before.
My book is finally ready for the query stage.
I can't believe it, not really. Its taken me years to reach this point. Not only have I always doubted that I had the ability, but the time, the follow through. Its so hard to work on one story at a time, Battling the boredom of reading the same thing again and again, trying to shore up the plot holes, make sure the characters are well built, and check the pacing. This is one of the hardest things I've ever done and I'm not finished yet.
Now, I move on to the query stage. Trying to find an agent. I've taken the classes, I've bought the books, I have print outs of other people's synopses, query letters, etc. This is now the research section of our program, finding the right agent and hoping they say yes.
I don't know how to feel about reaching this portion of my writing career. This is the year I was determined to take myself seriously and thus far I think I've done a bang-up job with that. Here I am, standing at the edge of something I've wanted since the 3rd grade.
There's a little fear, I won't deny it. Its always pretty terrifying to put yourself out there. There's the load of what ifs and why nots that I have to contend with on the daily now. The thing I keep reminding myself is that every author has sat where I am sitting. They've looked at the baby they finally manged to get done and had to look into what's next.
I have to prepare myself for the rejection, for the pain, for the possibility of failure or success. I honestly don't know which one is scarier.
Today, I'm going to work on that synopsis and see how much I can get done before my family drags me to the beach.