Expression

Good morning. I know, I've been unusually active this week. There's something about my new routine (and likely the lack of debilitating back pain) that makes me more apt to get things done about now.

I took last night off, but I actually did not feel guilty. I finished a chapter of Dark Ember this week and clocked in about 2k words. I was having a rough pain day, so I decided to just hit the hay early.

You know the amazing thing about having no more debilitating pain? (I still have pain but we've gone from 8 to 2 on the pain scale) The great thing is: I'm sleeping. Man, oh, man. I couldn't tell you the last time I slept through the night without having to change positions because something hurts. I used to roll over every few minutes because something would lock up or ache or just plain hurt. Now, I'm getting a solid 7-8 hours without hesitation.

Its been a game changer.

All of this aside, I was thinking about artistic expression today.

I love books. I absolutely crave good stories. I have gone to bed many times at 3am because I couldn't put a book down. I love author voices. I really enjoy some of their turns of phrase or how they describe things.

There's a scene in The Redemption of Althalus (My favorite book ever) by David and Leigh Eddings that always comes to mind.

The main character is interacting with a talking cat, whom he befriends and even begins to love. This cat becomes his partner, his confidante, his teacher. Reading how he describes his growing relationship with a talking cat brings home how much the character has changed. We see Althalus basically grow up whilst convinced he has died and heaven in a locked tower room guarded by a talking cat. Sounds wild, right?

In recalling one of my favorite parts of my favorite book, I began to wonder: Will someone think a part of one of my books is that great?

Although I know all writers want the 6 figure book deal, movie deals and to be Stephen King, I do have a much smaller wish. I just want someone, anyone, just one person to really, truly love my book. I want a character to be named their favorite, for a scene to touch them or a line of dialogue make them laugh out loud. I want to make someone teary-eyed when they recall a character's death or a lover's declaration.

I really think if even one person were to come to be and say "Your book is my favorite" and ask me to sign a pristine copy because their main copy is dogeared, tattered and torn from constant wear, I'll just glow.

Back when I wrote copious amounts of fanfiction, all that motivated me was a review. A like. Any kind of "Man, this was great". I wrote novel length fanfics with no more incentive than a review. I think the lack of instant gratification is one reason I struggle to get my originals down. I really need to get myself some accountability partners.

Artistic expression, that's what I'm thinking of this morning. Just being able to shout ideas into the void, I guess.

Or, maybe I need more coffee.

-C.A.