Cattle Prod

I'll start by saying that I've been dealing with a bit of a health issue. I suffer a few chronic conditions, but in the last several months I've been dealing with a lot of pain, numbness, and such in my right arm. Its gotten to the point that I've lost grip in my hand.

For those wondering, losing the ability to hold a pen or type is devastating to a writer.

I've been in for testing. In fact, today is a follow up to find out which type of testing is next. I've had x-rays on my neck,and a nerve test in my arm. If you've never had a nerve test, it's quite uncomfortable and disconcerting. "Here's a two inch needle, I'm gonna stick it into your muscle. Ok, now move your arm." This is AFTER they shock you a dozen times with what looks like a glorified cattle prod.

ANYWAY. No updates on the writing front. Well, almost none. I did have a very intriguing rejection letter.

Side note: You know you're a writer when you start analyzing the TONE of how someone rejects you.

This particular letter did not read like a form. The agent in question said she wanted me to know she strongly considered my work and that she thought I had potential but the material is in a genre she finds difficult to sell.

I'm still struggling with this. Yes, its nice to know the material has potential, that I have potential as a writer. Its also nice to read a letter that doesn't read like the dozen other 'nos' I've received.

The letter did give me some pause though. Is my genre really that hard to sell? Am i wasting my time with this book? Did I burn my best writing years getting it done?

This whole process has brought my worst insecurities to the surface. I know many if not all writers struggle with this part. We all know the stories told by the greats: King and Rowling and even Tolkein.

Someday, I'll stop whinging about all of this. I swear I will.

For now I'm going to enjoy a quiet breakfast and then go back to the doctor. After all that, its time to teach littles.

At some point today, I'll start writing.